According to her, i have an attitude issue. Time and time again, she will always say "I can't stand this attitude of yours! You have no respect for your elders."

A few days ago, she finally blew on me. She said i was acting like a delinquent, that i needed to see a therapist and go to a rehabilitation centre. She said i need to readjust my attitude, because the way i am acting now, people will start hating me in the future. She said i needed to take some time and think of what i should do with that horrible attitude of mine.

Every month, i would face the same issue over and over again. You say i never study, never concentrate, never do anything at the subjects i'm weak at. You never say anything good or praise me when i get really good results, but you've got alot to say and complain when i have ONE bad result. You keep comparing me to my brother, time and time again.

Sometimes, i would hide in my room, crying silently so she wouldn't hear it. What on earth must i do until she's willing to accept me as a person?

I never met her expectations. I'm not as brilliant as my brother, but i've tried my best to be on parr with him, as smart as him. I never showed how dissatisfied i am when she let my brother do stuff i can't do, only after a certain amount of time i would show my dissatisfaction. She says i'm selfish. I guess that part is true. Every person is selfish in his or her way. I'm selfish in MY own way, but she says i'm selfish towards everything.

I'm getting very exhausted from listening to her scold me time after time about the same issue. I'm getting very sick of going to my room and cry silently. I'm very sick of hiding whatever inside me because i won't be able to take it anymore. I'm just sick and tired of everything.

I remembered once you called me stupid, more than 10 times in a second, for being gullible, for being stupid enough to let my friends take advantage of me. You called me a liar before, because you thought i lied at something you thought i did, but i never really done it. You challenged my memory, making me doubt at my own mind. You even said that me getting straight A's for PMR was "lucky" and not based on my ability. You even questioned the one thing i had most confidence in, my creativity. Just those few simple stabbing words that came out of your mouth, my self esteem dropped to zero.

I can never satisfy her. My brother drinks and drive(well, not too drunk) , but she laughs about it and advises him in a nice way. If i were to ever do the same thing, she would probably ground me for life. Not that i'm comparing myself to my brother, but sometimes i think she's being unfair to me. "You're a girl" she says. Bullshit. Total Utter Crap

I can't take it anymore. I don't want to put up with it anymore. I tried so many times to change for her sake, but she never seemed to be satisfied with what i had to offer. I studied hard to atleast prove something to her, to show her that i can do it but she's just not satisfied with what i've tried to give her. I'm just not her perfect little girl she ever wanted me to be. Never will be, in fact.

Sometimes, i wish to myself, "Just throw me out of if you hate me so much. Go adopt your perfect little girl and be ridden of me." Obviously, i have not came around to actually say it, because if i did, i probably won't be here to write this out.