Frustration, frustration.
Thursday, April 21, 2011 >>7:01 PM
Do you ever have one of those moments where you just wish you can sleep forever, never having to wake up to go to college, or to do anything at all, like having a deep slumber and not having to worry about anything at all? I'm feeling just like that. I'm not gonna ramble on how stressful everything is (besides college, but im having EMOTIONAL stress now) and just feel like sleeping and never having the need to ever wake up, because frankly, i feel as though nobody would ever notice when my presence is gone, because i feel like a small spock of dust among dust bunnies, or a microfibre on a cloth. Yes, i feel very unappreciated.
Very. But it's not like anyone cares anyways cause my presence doesn't have an impact on anybody at all.
Yes, bringing out the emo-ness in me because i haven't done that in bazillion years and well, that's what a blog is for right?
I keep having this urge to scream as loud as i can and roll down a hill and knock myself unconscious and fly around the world in my spirit form and see whether anyone would notice i was really gone for good. Not like i can do that, but i'll just hope.
And i hate the fact that parents say not to compare yourself to our siblings, but always, ALWAYS end up saying "If compared to your brother... you're...." YOU SAID NOT TO COMPARE MYSELF, SO WHY ARE YOU USING THE WORD COMPARE AND BROTHER?! Does that mean you're a hypocrite? Does that mean i have to follow every single fecking footsteps by my brother? May as well do plastic surgery to make myself look like my brother and steal his braincells so that i can be as smart as him? Face it, i couldn't get as many A+ as him and i will never be as good as him because as you said so yourself "Your brother is better than you in everything." When you said to do something out of my interest, you said "maybe you can do something and have at least something you're better than your brother." I'm sorry but i'm not Louie Saw. I'm freaking Leanne Saw. That really stabbed me in the heart.
I hate comparing myself. Can't i just go by a day without being compared and just do whatever i like to do and not having to oblige to friggin orders and take subjects that you don't even like? I feel like rebelling and becoming a wildchild, seriously.
Labels: frustration
