Thursday, March 21, 2013 >>7:02 PM

Hahahaha! Probably no one would read this post, because it has been almost a year since i last updated. I used to be so proud that my blog was always updated, even if not always, at least it got updated here and there for about 3 years. It was my longest commitment in terms of writing a diary/blog. And once again i have failed to keep it running.

Maybe perhaps i'm more of a twitter user now, because i basically rant and vent everything there. Don't get me wrong, sometimes writing long paragraphs to just get a point across is quite meaningless, as compared to tweets where it's a few short sentences and the point still gets across.

Well, enough about that.

2nd year of Uni now! Can't say that i'm enjoying it very much. Last sem's work load was a killer. I can remember at least every week i had something due. Last sem was also the time where my sickness/depression attacked me a lot. Insomnia, hyperventilation, flu etc. You get the gist. Hopefully this sem won't be anything killer, but after seeing the subject outline for this sem, i can say it's gonna be another hectic sem, towards the end that is, cause that's when all the bloody assignments are due.

I'm sorry if i seem to be a bit more snappy now than i used to, but sometimes my patience is really tested here, so i told myself, if i'm not snappy, i won't get it the way i want. And if i don't, i'll basically lose out on everything. Yes, i am morally and mentally drained, which has come to show in my more dark, permanent panda eyes.

I've also learned to distance myself from basically everyone, because last year has taught me; even if i make all the effort to keep in touch with some of the friendships that i treasure, but if that feeling is not reciprocated, then i really see no point. I used to call myself a a leech, because i stick to those people that i'm particularly close with. But, what if i stick on, and the other side feel burdened? Or they found some other leech and my presence was not needed anymore? That's basically how i felt last year, continuing on to this year in fact. The people who i call my closest friends seem so much like a stranger to me now. That is why i've learned to distance myself as to not get hurt like that again.

Yes, i'm still together with my boyfriend. Quite surprised we're still together from all the arguments we had last year. It even reached to the point where i asked for a break (yes, Ross and Rachel style), but taking that break was good because it made me realize that my feelings for him wasn't out of getting used to, but in fact, i really do.So now we're just waiting to celebrate our second year together, which is just right at the corner. Yay me.

Honestly, i still don't know where i want to go in life, what exactly i want to do. People say it's impossible to not have a dream, but i honestly don't. Some might say i'm the most indecisive person, but whatever i'm doing now, my heart isn't in it. I don't know where my heart should be exactly.

xx.