Sunday, April 28, 2013 >>7:20 PM

Sometimes i question my decisions. I know i don't make the best decisions. The best i can do is follow my heart. But even so, sometimes i don't even know what my heart wants.

If you love someone or something, and you made a decision to let it go, every so often, you'll question yourself whether did you make a good decision of letting that go. Why would you let go of someone or something that you love? If it's love, isn't it wise to hold on to it? For me, i let go because of distance. I know the future isn't certain, but to not have that physical object of love when you need it at a very tough time really drains, mentally. It was the hardest thing i had to do to date. Letting that person go was as if i was letting go my pillar of support. Now, i don't have anyone to fall back to and catch me. It's like a never ending free fall.

Do i regret my decision? A part of me does, a part of me doesn't. Do i still love that someone? Of course i do. I believe in fate, if we're meant to be, we'll be together eventually, not long distance. If anyone asks me whether long distance will ever work; only if that person has a very strong will then it would work. I'm not strong, i have the weakest will ever. Maybe that's why. Maybe it's just all me.

If we're in the right place and the right time, maybe we'll walk the same path again? I'm sorry, and i love you, really.

Labels: feelings

Thursday, July 28, 2011 >>6:04 PM

We've all have our fights and fair share of feelings. Why bother going on if both of us are suffering? Think about it why don't you. Think very very hard.

Labels: feelings, random thought

Thursday, April 28, 2011 >>12:47 AM

I know i'm emotional, i know it's hard to comprehend with my attitude, i know i may be a bitch sometimes, i know i might occasionally give you "the face", i know i seem like i PMS all the time, i know i might just burst out in tears at any moment, i know i'm neglecting feelings, i know i'm being heartless, i know i'm being mean, i know you wouldn't look at me, i know you wouldn't forget your past, i know i wouldn't let go of you, i know what hurts me, i know not when to stop, i know i'm being careless, i know i'm also foolish, i know it might be impossible, i know it might take a lifetime. All i know, is you.

Labels: feelings, random

Thursday, December 17, 2009 >>11:47 AM

I have come to realise that i am indeed on love with you. It's a fact that i can't deny. At first, i thought it some sort of infatuation, that it would off with time. But, as more time passes, my feelings for you grow a whole lot deeper. Then, i always asked myself, "Is this what people call love?" I'm still young and naive, so i might not know the REAL meaning of it. Maybe i'm still in that infatuation phase, just not waken from it yet. But, i put a pillow under my head and thought about it in many different points of view, and realised it wasn't any sort of deep infatuation. Maybe it was, but not anymore, because i actually came to realise that whatever you did made me laugh, even if it was a lame joke. I know its pointless in keeping this ember of feelings in me, since my feelings are not going to be returned, but being friends with you really made a difference in my life. So, i'm actually not afraid to say I Love You


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Hellos! Please dont mind whatever crap i wrote above. I just needed to release something inside of me, because all those words accumulated inside of me and i just needed a medium to release it (i.e blogging. XD)

Omg, it's my brother's prom tonight! I never would have imagined someone like my brother going to prom! EEEEEE!LOL. He rented a vest, bought some leather shoe and got ready all his hair gel. I guess i cant really grasp the fact that my brother is actually going to PROM. XD

Well anyways, holidays has started to get boring all over again. After coming back from Macau and Hong Kong, i literally have nothing else better to do than to read book and aimlessly looking at people's pictures on facebook. I know, i'm such a lifeless geek. To add to the misery, i'm grounded AGAIN. I don't understand why my mom hates letting me go out. Not as if i've been going out that often! She was like, "You're going out too much! You're not allowed anymore!" And how many times have i gone out since the holidays started? LESS THAN 5. I really don't understand.. how is going out less than 5 times considered GOING OUT ALOT? My mom seriously has some ISSUES. ):

So, the conclusion is, i'm a lifeless geek, slowly rotting off at home. (yes, i have admitted to being a geek) Life is just so GREAT, isn't it? ;D

Labels: feelings, holidays, Ramblings, random

Thursday, August 27, 2009 >>10:28 AM

I watched G.I Joe yesterday, with my mom of course (considering my current house arrest), not that i'm complaining about it! I love watching movies with my mom! But, maybe i'd prefer watching with my good ol' friends? :) Just one a month more to go, i'm sure someone like me should be able to handle it! XD Anyways, as usual.. i went so offtrack. Right... G.I Joe right? The movie was awesome! The gadget and futuristic weapons are the pros of the show. The special effects and graphics are awesome too! And the story is ACTUALLY understandable! Not like the current harry potter movie, i don't even get what the movie is about, honestly. The only thing i can say about G.I Joe is that theres too much noise! All the gunfire and all, it can make you go numb on the ears. But overall, i give G.I Joe a 8.5 out of 10 and harry potter 5.5 out 10 ( the 0.5 is out of pity) XD

You know what? I don't give a damn anymore. I don't care who you go out with nor do i care what you think of me, because i think i'm over it. I still like it, very much... but theres really no point, desho? (: i'm actually a more happier person than i used to be, so i have a positive feeling about this! :D

Putting that aside, the one week holiday is coming to an end really fast! I really like lazing around at home with no homework to complete whatsoever. (: Being on house arrest is never better, but of course it would be more delightful if i was able to go out with my friends, but i have to keep my word so that my mom actually has a little trust in me. No way am i going to throw the little trust she has in me. O_O Plus, staying at home reduces the chance of me getting Ahini (AH1N1)! XD

Labels: ahini, feelings, G.I Joe, harry potter, house arrest

Monday, June 1, 2009 >>9:54 PM

Indeed i am.

Falling slowly

Haha, sorry for being so random, just got that song stuck in my head. And the lyrics are sorta related to me in real life. cool huh?! XD

But the phrase "falling slowly" could be related to me somehow, i mean, the way each and everyday my life goes, its as if its on the verge of a breakdown. Not that i'm gonna kill myself or anything (i don't believe in suicide) because its just an idiotic thing to do. I mean, thats just putting your family and friend's life in jeopardy.

Wait, what the hell am i talking about suicide?!

On the brighter side, my phone is being repaired now, because of some sort of software problem, i'll get my baby back in TWO days, so i have to put up with my brother's crappy old phone until then, no worries, i CAN TAKE IT! :D And the vampire diaries i'm reading now? A FEW MORE PAGES AND I'M DONE! That book is sorta similar to twilight, but its more connected to real life instead of full frontal fantasy (like what twilight is) and its. . . creepy, not like twilight, which just makes you laugh at every single word. So, i'm actually glad i bought the book! XP

Anyways, the day i go to japan is coming closer, and i can't wait! Though i haven't started packing, but what the hell?! Just counting down the days already is making me nervous, imagine when i step foot on japanese grounds?! XD

And what i meant when i said i was falling slowly, it meant my (feelings?). Yep, i gave the cold shoulders, and now i'm being paid back with the same.

GREAT

Labels: books, feelings, japan, Ramblings