Monday, June 3, 2013 >>11:04 PM

That's right! I've moved my blog to Wordpress! I'll be actively posting there (hopefully), so please revert to there :)

ttokinana.wordpress.com

Thanks for supporting this blog for so long! :) Time o move to a new platform.
See you guys there! <3 p="">

Labels: moved

Friday, May 24, 2013 >>10:40 PM

Yes, i'll come back to my blog, RIGHT after all these mother fckin' assignments homg. Can you imagine 5 assignments in a week? It's like they want to murder me or something.

Expect to see some fresh post in a week or 2! :)

Labels: comeback, rant, soon

Sunday, April 28, 2013 >>7:20 PM

Sometimes i question my decisions. I know i don't make the best decisions. The best i can do is follow my heart. But even so, sometimes i don't even know what my heart wants.

If you love someone or something, and you made a decision to let it go, every so often, you'll question yourself whether did you make a good decision of letting that go. Why would you let go of someone or something that you love? If it's love, isn't it wise to hold on to it? For me, i let go because of distance. I know the future isn't certain, but to not have that physical object of love when you need it at a very tough time really drains, mentally. It was the hardest thing i had to do to date. Letting that person go was as if i was letting go my pillar of support. Now, i don't have anyone to fall back to and catch me. It's like a never ending free fall.

Do i regret my decision? A part of me does, a part of me doesn't. Do i still love that someone? Of course i do. I believe in fate, if we're meant to be, we'll be together eventually, not long distance. If anyone asks me whether long distance will ever work; only if that person has a very strong will then it would work. I'm not strong, i have the weakest will ever. Maybe that's why. Maybe it's just all me.

If we're in the right place and the right time, maybe we'll walk the same path again? I'm sorry, and i love you, really.

Labels: feelings

Thursday, March 21, 2013 >>7:02 PM

Hahahaha! Probably no one would read this post, because it has been almost a year since i last updated. I used to be so proud that my blog was always updated, even if not always, at least it got updated here and there for about 3 years. It was my longest commitment in terms of writing a diary/blog. And once again i have failed to keep it running.

Maybe perhaps i'm more of a twitter user now, because i basically rant and vent everything there. Don't get me wrong, sometimes writing long paragraphs to just get a point across is quite meaningless, as compared to tweets where it's a few short sentences and the point still gets across.

Well, enough about that.

2nd year of Uni now! Can't say that i'm enjoying it very much. Last sem's work load was a killer. I can remember at least every week i had something due. Last sem was also the time where my sickness/depression attacked me a lot. Insomnia, hyperventilation, flu etc. You get the gist. Hopefully this sem won't be anything killer, but after seeing the subject outline for this sem, i can say it's gonna be another hectic sem, towards the end that is, cause that's when all the bloody assignments are due.

I'm sorry if i seem to be a bit more snappy now than i used to, but sometimes my patience is really tested here, so i told myself, if i'm not snappy, i won't get it the way i want. And if i don't, i'll basically lose out on everything. Yes, i am morally and mentally drained, which has come to show in my more dark, permanent panda eyes.

I've also learned to distance myself from basically everyone, because last year has taught me; even if i make all the effort to keep in touch with some of the friendships that i treasure, but if that feeling is not reciprocated, then i really see no point. I used to call myself a a leech, because i stick to those people that i'm particularly close with. But, what if i stick on, and the other side feel burdened? Or they found some other leech and my presence was not needed anymore? That's basically how i felt last year, continuing on to this year in fact. The people who i call my closest friends seem so much like a stranger to me now. That is why i've learned to distance myself as to not get hurt like that again.

Yes, i'm still together with my boyfriend. Quite surprised we're still together from all the arguments we had last year. It even reached to the point where i asked for a break (yes, Ross and Rachel style), but taking that break was good because it made me realize that my feelings for him wasn't out of getting used to, but in fact, i really do.So now we're just waiting to celebrate our second year together, which is just right at the corner. Yay me.

Honestly, i still don't know where i want to go in life, what exactly i want to do. People say it's impossible to not have a dream, but i honestly don't. Some might say i'm the most indecisive person, but whatever i'm doing now, my heart isn't in it. I don't know where my heart should be exactly.

xx.

Monday, July 23, 2012 >>11:33 AM

I know i know, it has been ages. Well, when one is stressed, things tend to be neglected. And sadly, my blog is one of those that are neglected when the writer, when in this case, it's me, gets stressed.

That was ballsacks of nonsense.

Oh well.

HIIII.

I've been back to Malaysia from June 14 to July 14 and now i've been back in Melbourne for more than a week already. Sem 2 of uni is a tough one. I've seen the assignment outline for all the subjects and i'm really gonna have a hard time. I mean, why would an advertising major, like myself, need to bloody DESIGN OUR OWN FONT. WELL, FUQ YOU RMIT.

Atlest debating is understandable, where you apply it in real life. BUT DESIGNING YOUR OWN FONT? Maybe i just don't see the significance of it yet, i suppose.

Well, all writing mojo has been wiped off along with my joy in life. I don't see the joy in this anymore. Not like i'm shutting my blog, but i'll update it ONCE IN A BLUE MOON HAHAHAHA. Sorry, sometimes i really don't have the mood to pour all these words out and not do a single thing about it.

Hopefully Sem 2 will be good to me.

Until then, good bye.

xx

Wednesday, May 16, 2012 >>9:40 PM

Well, because i told myself i won't write all those cheesy stuff anymore, and bear with me, for i shall get this blog up and constantly updated in a matter of time. But until then...

HAPPY 1ST YEAR TO MYSELF!

Through our ups and downs, tears and laughter, we've made it through a year. :') It makes me happy. To more years ahead! Love you Jian Zhong! :D

AND THAT'S IT. NO MORE CHEESINESS. WHEEEE.

To never be updated soon!