It's been a week since you've gone over to Brighton, and evidently, i already miss you like a truckload of stuff. It's true, the first few days that you were gone, it was really hard for me. Even the thought of you would make me cry, which was all the time because you my dear, are always on my mind. Not that i've gotten used to it yet, but you somehow make it so easy for me, as if you weren't really gone in the first place. Always messaging me, even sneaking messages when you're in class. I won't say i love it, but you're definitely making it a lot more easier for me to get used to it.

It's been 8 months since we've been together, and almost a year since we met in college. Of course if i could turn back time, i would in a heartbeat. Relieving the times we had together would make die a happy girl (CHOY!). This would our first time spending our anniversary (month-asary?) apart, but this would only make what we have stronger, right? I love you, i truly truly do. And i'm somewhat smug cause i'm your longest relationship (LOL) and i hope it will go on for a very very very very very very very very very very Xinfinity long time! Everyday i would play the musical box (or something like that) you gave me and smile at the charm bracelet you gave me before you left. Also, i would go to my old phone and read the saved messages from you that were my favourite. Because you make me that happy. Oh, and smelling your beggar shirt every night before i go to sleep (BAHAHAHA).

When we went for our only swim together! :) It was one of the best days of my life.

You listen to me whine about anything at all. You were there with me every sad moment when i needed someone. Because really, you've made me fall in love with you reaaaaaaaaaaaal hard.

-One Direction, One Thing

It's my favourite part of the song, because it totally represents what i feel for you. :)

Happy 8th month my dear, with the anticipation of many many many many Xinfinity more to come. I love you.

The day you left, was the day that i told myself that i will make myself stronger, for you. :) I love you!

Let me try describing. Have you ever did something that you were so accustomed to already, to the extent that it became part of your daily routine? Imagine that being stripped away from you. You'd feel odd right? Like, this emptiness in your heart that can never really be patched back, or atleast, takes a lifetime to patch it back and grow accustomed to another way of life? That's exactly how i feel.

Talking to jian zhong, be it by sms-ing, or on the phone or even on skype, became something that was normal to me, something that i grew accustomed to. Every little minor thing, like maybe i can't take a dump for the day, or i banged my toe on the wardrobe, or my dad teasing me of being fat, no doubt he would be the first person i would turn to and tell, and he would immediately reply, even if not immediately, at least an hour i sent out the message. I would always turn to him if i had problems with anything, like with my iphone or issues with my parents, and he'll hear me out and try to help me the best way he can. Even at night in the wee hour, he would randomly call me, and i would somehow magically wake up to answer his call.

I won't get all these anymore. My necessity was stripped away from me. Yesterday, i managed to send him off at the airport. I had some tears then, but i only truly released everything out when i was home. Not to exaggerate, but i really cried on for the rest of the day. I never knew it would impact me like that. Like how messaging him every minute was something normal for me? Today, i only managed to chat with him on whatsapp for a while. Not even 10 messages. And when he arrived at Brighton? Only managed to skype call with him once, when he was settled down in his room.

I went to college today to sell off my old books to juniors that were buggers because they kept bargaining for the books to be much cheaper. The whole time, i felt this emptiness inside of me, because on a normal daily basis, either he would be there with me, or he'll be messaging me often. But today, nada. Nothing. Because he was probably asleep, due to the difference of time zone.

It sucks, it really does. When i was at the airport, i really wanted to ask him to not go, but that would be selfish of me. I can only imagine things would be worse by the time i'm at Melbourne. Bigger time gap.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to feel nor what to think. Every hour or so, i would hide myself in my room, smell his shirt and play the musical box that he gave me. I miss him that much. And it's only been a day. With my mentality now, i don't know how am i gonna get accustomed to this anymore.

What do i do?

I love this noob so much. I never knew him not being here would affect me this much. I'm even crying as i type this.

I love you jian zhong.

Got my SAM results on the 21st. Satisfied, but wish i could have done a teeny tiny bit better! Decided that commerce wasn't for me cause i can't really imagine a future for me that i'm happy with. Decided on mass communication in RMIT over University of Melbourne. :) This is where my future is headed. If at any case RMIT doesn't want to accept me, i hope University of Melbourne will still have a place for me then. :( /fingers crossed

Then, on the 23rd, headed over to South Korea for a winter holiday! Was tad excited because it was my first ever winter holiday, and my first time ever seeing snow. And the feeling was great. Should have seen my face when i first saw the snow. Like a little girl that got whatever she wanted. Ignoring the fact that it was -16 degree (at the mountains where i stayed for the first 2 days, Seoul was actually much warmer), it was exciting. You know how in Malaysia people in Malaysia will go crazy at the sight of 1 picture of their favourite idol? Well, Korea is literally infested with them, like every nook and corner, and the people are normal about it. No crazy fan girls when the signboard of the shop is a big picture of Yunho and Changmin's face, nor the cutouts of Minho and 2PM lying in front of shops. Over there, it's normal. Which i gladly appreciate, cause i need to be spared of the fangirls. But nonetheless, i enjoyed my first winter holiday! Tried skiing even, only managed to fall down many times when going uphill. My bro was just gladly skiing as if it was effortless, but it took me a while to get the hang of it. LOL! And, i got an ugg boot! :)

came back and feeling under the weather now, after a sidden change in temperature. BUT, i got my iphone 4s! :) Was initially supposed to wait and get it when i'm in Melbourne, but the phone would be locked to the telco, and to unlock it, would need to pay extra AUD50 when i come back to malaysia for the June holidays. And the monthly cost for it is too high. So i got an unlocked one here, so when i get there, i can choose a cheaper plan that is more affordable for me. :) Teehee

It's already new year's eve. Literally just a week and few days more until my other half leaves for Brighton in UK. Thinking about it always seems to bring my mood down. Like when i was skyping with him last night, just looking at his face can make me cry somehow. I know it would be the same when he's there and we can still skype everyday, since i hardly see him when he's here anyways. But still, that feeling sucks. Sucks like friggin' hell. Sigh, i don't know what will happen when 10th of January comes. ;( Sigh.

Well anyways, i'm not gonna post any pictures cause i'm just too lazy to upload any of them. Haha! At least i updated for my non-existent readers right? :)

Have a good day all! And a Happy New Year!

My hands were a little itchy and i just HAD to post these pictures. It's not a question whether i wanted to, I HAD TO. IT'S A MUST. ME GUSTA.

Last day of college. :'( We were watching G-Force! :D

AND LOLOLOLOLOL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOMG, I CAN'T STOP STARING AT THIS. Yes, please enjoy. It's not everyday that you get him to do something like this. ;)

Yes, i'm here updating my dead blog only for one reason, 5TH MONTH! :D

Yep, our 5th month together! Time really does pass by really fast. I hate to see how fast things are going. I've only got 1 more week of college life left, and i'm seriously gonna miss it. :(

Putting that aside, 5th month! Can you believe it? :')

Thank you so much for everything. Yes, we've had our fair share of not so happy moments, but more happier ones, but that's what a relationship is, yes?

Thank you for being there with me.

Thank you for putting up with me.

Thank you for accepting me for who i am.

Thank you for all the love you've shown me.

Thank you for showing me a different side of the world.

Thank you for everything.

I've never been happier in my life. Let's enjoy every last bit together.

I love you, and i always will.

I

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!

Haha. I'm gonna stop the cheesiness now. ;)

What i'm trying to say is, i don't care. Of course it'll be sad that i won't get to see him in a while, but reading books and watching movies about how strong women can wait for their loved ones for far much longer just gave me the confidence that i can do it too, considering i might not be as strong as them, but you get the idea. :( We'll pull through it, i know it. :)

I'll wait for you. Forever and always. ♥

It's been a hell of a week. Trials really have sucked all my brain juice, especially on tuesday where we had math at 7 in the morning and legals right after it. Terrible TERRIBLE combination. Found myself literally dead in the brain after the exam, came back and slept for a good 4 hours, with complete zero mood to study for econs. HAHA! So so screwed for trials. :/ Now all i gotta do is get my ass up from here and have a one on one date with accounts for tomorrow finale! Then, rest for a while and then study like a mad freak for THE BIG ONE. HOORAYYYY

Urgh, i'm so full from eating the peanuts and yam cake. SO SO FULL! Shouldn't have ate so much. I think i probably gained a lot of weight these few months. :( And so lazy to go jogging everyday! I really wonder how did i do it last time. :'(

Meh, so so tired. Must keep myself awake to study accounts and wake my dear hubby up at 12. Until then, i shall day dream on how i would finally be free from this hell hole. D:<

Over & Out!

I've had an awesome run of 4 months with you, with of course, the anticipation of more to come. I'm gonna stop here because i'm gonna get really really cheesy, and i wouldn't want people to be vomiting after reading it. HAHA! Again, Happy 4 months. I love you so so so so so so so so much my hubby.

secretly caught this during skype call last time. ;)

My panda eyes are getting worse lately. Well, not surprising. SIGH.

I'm gonna stop complaining now. :)

I have recently been addicted to Foster the People's new song called Pumped up kicks. After Wilson, Derrick and Mabel introduced it to me yesterday, i've been addicted to it since! HAHA! Though the lyrics is about wanting to kill someone, the chorus is really addicting. ;)

Went shopping for a while at KLCC just now. Bought a lot of plain shirts from Uniqlo. Wanted to look for more shorts, but too bad all the places are not on sale now. Sad. :( Wanted to buy a shirt for The Boy, but was with my mom, so i didn't dare. :'(

Yesterday, the worst thing happened. I was sitting for my math common test 4, and at the beginning of the test, my graphic calculator failed on me. It didn't work at all! I was so frustrated because i needed to use the fudging damn calculator for a few questions, which was worth a lot of marks. But it failed on me. Pissed, i was really pissed off. Then, after the test ended, still kind of upset but was sorta okay but the moment Zhong came up to me and pressed ON on my GC, it worked. It fcking worked. I felt like smashing and throwing that piece of thing, really. Urgh. This is what happens when they test you on a question that requires mostly technology. D: Would like to thank Zhong for comforting me! :D Thank you so so much bum bum! :D

Ah well, what's done is done. I don't give a shit anymore. Time for dinner!

It's like, he could read my mind that i needed new headphones (I never told him LOL). :D He got them for me from his trip to Singapore and I'm really touched. :)

I'm back in Ipoh now, celebrating Raya in the chinese way HAHA! Old classmates are having an outing tomorrow and watching final destination 5! Too bad i couldn't go. :( But in a way I'm quite happy i'm not going because of a certain something that happened last night. I hate the feeling of losing someone important. Well, better not give hope right? :( Still, it's heartbreaking.

Ah, i hate this part of my life. I really really do. If only i could do something more than what I'm doing now.

I shall burn in this heat. Why oh why did my cousin forget his wifi pass. D;

Happy 3 months bby, with many many more to come. :)

I know i'm an emo-ing bitch that complains a lot, and for you to put up with it, i am forever grateful.

I'm gonna be cheesy, cause i'm not known to be cheesy and all, but i do love you. :D